The final straw that broke my throat chakra open
Hi, please give yourself time to see my art of expression, this may take awhile to read!
Let’s not be in denial that some people have karmic energy, it carries with them to serve to others. Part of why it’s always best to be mindful of how you treat others because you just never know whom you’re messing with physically and spiritually. Another way to see it is simply “giving someone a dose of their own medicine”.
Now unfortunately I had this blow up with my aunt whom was always my favorite and we never had any issues until working closely together. I worked part time at my cousins daycare, whom the aunt is her mom, and they are the owners. What I’ll be sharing from my personal experience isn’t the first verbal altercation that has happened within that environment and I’m sharing that from observation of noticing consistent patterns.
“If you wish to rid a certain habit, interrupt the pattern of it’s existence” -Azrie'l J
Here’s what I’ve observed and experienced with my aunt as an adult. While she is a loving and giving person her flaws are just as loud through antagonizing others to get her word in (especially the last word), her comments can be rude plus passive aggressive, and she complains quite often about many many minor things. Lastly, she plays victim quite well (it was an aha moment when I learned she’s a Pisces), I know from my own past mindset plus being a water sign. My intention is to call out and share truth not to diminish character (I am still new to choosing the right way of doing, so please leave respectful constructive criticism in the comments to assist). My aunt is still a loving being of course, we all have flaws to call out and work on.
Our issue came into play with my oldest son who’s a Gemini and I mentioned his sign because (astrology is accurate) but in my learning of them, they do NOT play around when someone continuously bothers and or picks on them. Haven’t we heard Kendrick Lamars music and most importantly his diss tracks!? Of course, it has to be mentioned that Ayden is a sweet, compassionate, and very caring child. Many whom had the pleasure of meeting him are aware of his natural character. On the flip side, just like others having to learn he can become unruly in his expression and delivery when upset or emotionally triggered. We always have open conversations about that topic,and he has been to therapy for specific behaviors (that is NOT to be used against him OR anyone for that matter) on reacting in those ways. Just because I “gentle parent” does NOT mean I don’t parent accordingly or ignore discipline. Whooping is NOT what my parenting skills conform to for many valid reasons. As my aunt would constantly say “he needs his butt whooped”. Maybe perhaps adults need them as well for not managing their own emotions properly at their BIG AGE…
Now my own shortcomings with my aunt came into play from letting comments fly by without ever confronting and sitting down to have the proper conversation about them. My lame reasonings were I thought they would stop (too much hope), especially since he hasn’t been in the school agers room with her for awhile. He would sit in the lounge to be by himself, we both agreed that was best for him (Ayden and I) and I am going to give him credit again for making that mature decision.
One Friday evening at closing, sitting by my aunt it was my last straw for me. Ayden seen the other children helping with the trash and he simply asked if there was any other trash to take out. I'm watching her hesitate to answer as she goes to say, “No cause I don’t want you getting mad”. Now I’ve observed and been in enough ignorance to know that the response was definitely that and unnecessary to say ESPECIALLY after I learned about their last ordeal. Before this goes any further, I want to mention about adults being immature and petty to children in their emotional intelligence through their reactions, regulations, and responses. We expect children to well in this category, but I can roll call hella adults who can’t even acknowledge their own.
So, I called her out on it by letting her know it was an unnecessary thing to say when he was simply coming to help, in which he didn’t have to. This turned into a big verbal altercation of back and forth to the point that I was cursing at her because she threw more ignorant comments against my parenting and the reasoning for him being that way. Not sure if people can tell by the amount of healing I had to do to get to where I am currently, but the labor has always been heavy, and those remarks poked at something within me to react out of character. It was unfortunate it happened, but I believe at the end of the day somebody had to serve her, her own medicine. Often times this predicament will result with the people you least expect. I’ve spent my life silent, passive, and unconfrontational just as it pleased the adults in my life. That no longer resides for or with me. I am granted this lifetime to speak up on my truth and everyone else’s from our shared experiences together. I stand up for my children especially because no one stood up for me in times that mattered most throughout my adolescent years.
“Please don’t play the victim when you’re wrong, just to be pacified and overlooked for your behaviors that has brought you to a point of being hurt” -Azrie'l J
By the time I calmed down in my car talking to my sister, my mom was called with cries of “I can’t believe …”. Shit I couldn't believe it either. There was nothing to hide and so I told the story with reasonings to mom straightforward. It blew me because ma’am this is not child or teenage Azrie’l, calling my mother will not serve nothing. Remorseful? Yes, a bit because I do my best to be respectful of adults.
There was a conversation and apology issued to both my cousin and aunt the next day. While one went well the other tried to go sour (I’m sure you can guess with who). While on the phone with my aunt, soon as she started with “Well I’m not apologizing for the comment cause I didn’t see it as wrong” I braced myself. I was respectful, calm, and very precise, yet she tries to throw ignorance in with saying how my son is headed down the wrong path. I blocked that out so quick with “don’t speak that over my child and this conversation will be ending because of that” and hung up. All within an hour she denounced my apology and excused me from work through text although I verbally told my cousin I would put in my two-week notice.
Now to reflect back on the wrong path comment, perhaps she could’ve been right in the sense of him growing up with the lack of emotional maturity, but that wasn’t her aim. People see a child being tempered, disrespectful, and emotionally reactive just to automatically place them in the category of going to jail or being killed and that’s just extreme in most cases simply because the child has to learn and be taught emotional regulation and intelligence. In which I’ve been working on and am adamant about. Most adults can’t even grant themselves that ability and it shows through their own actions, words, and problem-solving skills.
The final morals are watch how you treat others if you want and expect respected treatment. Learn to work your flaws before picking someone else’s out ESPECIALLY a child. Sweep around your own front door before you try to sweep around others. Don’t let things fester, address the concern immediately with maturity. Most importantly, don’t overextend a stay when Spirit tells you to leave!
These lessons are true for everyone including self.
Thank you for reading, commenting, and engaging!
